(083) Just made up a song I think you’ll like
(083) It goes
(083) Mother fucker, mother fucker, I want to die. I want to die! And you chant it to yourself in the kitchen while making crockpot recipes
(925) My presentation is in 40 minutes. When should I drink the whiskey. I’m thinking soon.
(925) I’m on the poverty diet. It’s trending in North Africa.
(083) Let’s just start working for your brother as weed farmers. Then we can do something good for the world.
(083) and smoke for free
(083) I farted while Adam was sitting on me giving me a back massage
(083) So I basically farted on him
(083) Idk if he knows
(083) I just want a puppy
(925) me too. just a lil buddy to come home to and cuddle with. it’d be cool if it’d also tell me not to do stupid shit
(083) list of guys i regret fucking: the swedish guy, the indian guy, the croatian guy. . . basically all of the guys who i’ve reduced to race because i don’t really remember their names
(083) oh, and def the italian guy
(083) one time i gave head to the guitarist from all time low
(083) so, yeaa
(083) some of my first sexual fantasies were about Snape.