how to slip the fact that you do yoga into any conversation

Why do yoga yogaif you can’t wield it over others to make them feel like shit about their purposeless lives?

 

At a bar
“Nothing takes the edge off like tequila, am I right? Except maybe yoga. I don’t know what I’d do without Power Vinyasa.”

At the office
“The retention rate last quarter was as stable as my Drishti gaze while holding Warrior III this morning in Bikram.”

At Trader Joe’s
“Do you have any vegetarian mini hot dogs? Yoga has inspired me to practice ahimsa in all aspects of life. I try to avoid harming any living being.”

At Thanksgiving
“I wonder how many chaturangas it will take to burn off these mashed potatoes! Easy on the scotch, Grandma.”

At the dentist
“I understand you think I should floss for my future health, but yoga has taught me to stay grounded in the present. I don’t worry about what’s to come, for all we have is now.”

Ordering at Peet’s Coffee
“Your coffee isn’t too strong, right? I hate being jittery during yoga and I’m on my way to a class now.”

In the Taco Bell drive-thru
“Namaste for the quesalupa, my friend.”

On trial for murder
“I do yoga.”

Helen

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One thought on “how to slip the fact that you do yoga into any conversation

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