Goin’ to a Hallow’s Eve shindig and in need of a last-minute costume? Try one of these! You can throw them together in minutes and stand out from the crowd.
Self Check-Out Stand: Make a sign that says “Self Check-Out”, hold it high and start making everyone’s life difficult saying things like “Unexpected Item in Bagging Area”, and “Have you scanned your club card?” regardless of what they say to you.
Subaru Outback: Cover yourself in a layer of dirt and at least
twelve very opinionated bumper stickers regarding vegetarianism and Lake Tahoe, as well as one proclaiming how “A mind is a terrible thing to waste”.
The “Kelvin” filter on Instagram: Wear so much orange that it’s almost offensive, and aggressively rub turmeric on all exposed areas of skin.
Flamenco Dancer Emoji: The dress should be easy enough to find. The hard part will be holding that same pose the entire night.
Joe Biden: Tell everyone how excited you are for the party, then don’t show up.
El Nino: Bring a spray bottle and spritz other guests in the
face, explaining how they “really need it this year”.
Spinning Wheel of Death: Just print this out and tape it to whatever you’re wearing and when people ask what you are, say “One sec, still loading”.
Howard’s mom from The Big Bang Theory: Get creative, no one knows what she looks like.
A slut: Don’t like any of these? Just be a generic slut this year. No bunny ears or feather dusters, just tastelessly minimal clothing with maximum cleavage and a vacant expression. You can even paint a concerning rash around your mouth for a more authentic look.